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Yesterday Mashable brought to our attention Pepsi’s new, um, classy iPhone app: Amp Up Before You Score , which aims to help men everywhere “score” by stereotyping women into 24 categories and providing pickup lines to lure in each type.

Fellas, let’s get one thing straight: this isn’t gonna help you at all. (Can we say #pepsifail?) We’re glad Pepsi has apologized, but to help out the unfortunate men who may have downloaded this app thinking it’s their cool new wingman, we’ve developed a rescue tool:

Amp Up Before You Spa

Spa Week asks a different question: What kind of spa treatment would she love?

Men, it is Spa Week, and all these spa treatments are available for $50 until next Sunday! If your Pepsi-inspired pickup line doesn’t cut it, we’ve got one last thing to try… maybe sending her to the spa will win her over and make up for your poor taste in apps.

Business Woman 45 Min Lunch Time Deep Cleansing Facial

Military Chick – Ultrasound Marine Facial

Princess – 45 Min Caviar Facial

Nerd – Choice of Medical Grade Peels – Salicylic, Glycolic or Lactic

Out of your league – 50 Min Hot Lava Shell Massage

Athlete – 50 Min Action Retraction Sports Massage

Dancer – 50 Min Manicure and Pedicure with Foot Reflexology Massage

Goth – 45 Min Balancing Infusion Facial

Sorority girl – Eyelash extensions

Treehugger girl – 60 Min Harvest Facial with Organic Fruits and Herbs

Political Girl – 50 Min Spa Week Stress Melter Ritual

Cougar60 Min Purely Age Defying Facial

Foreign Exchange Student – 90 Min Foot Renaissance with European Manicure

Rebound Girl – Full Body Airbrush Tan

Celebrity – 50 Min Awards Night Facial

Artist – 50 Min Customized Massage

Married – 60 Min Deep Tissue massage, couples rooms available

Indie Rock Girl – 45 Min Himalayan Salt Glow

Twins – 55 Min Best of Both Worlds Swedish Massage and Basic Facial

Aspiring Actress – 60 Min Bali Paradise Rasul Treatment with 30 Min Brine Light Therapy

Punk Rock Girl – 60 Min Fire and Ice Pedicure

Bookworm – 60 Min Sothys Eye Treatment and Signature Foot Treatment

Women’s Studies Major – 50 Min Cranberry Body Scrub

Trouble – Haute Chocolate Manicure and Pedicure with Sweet Honey Dip Chocolate Brown Sugah Body Scrub

Even if you’re not any of these “women” – or if you’ve got little bit of ALL of these women in you! – all these treatments are available at spas around the country, and they serve as a refreshing and uplifting way to bring a smile to someone’s face.

Rather than a slap in the face.

And men, if you’re lucky, one day you two will live happily ever after.

 

Images courtesy of a YouTube screenshot and Beazleyhouse.com

 

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