Welcome to the Zit List, where we tell you exactly what to think about events, people, and things that happened this week.


Thursday Night Lights
Last night small quarterback Colt McCoy suffered an injury to his shoulder, which quashed Texas’ dreams of a college football championship and thus hurt the rest of his Texas teammates more than it hurt him. Whether you’re a fan of football or not (and seriously, why are you not a fan of football? Most entertaining sport imaginable) this winning and losing on a tiny shoulder blade is the stuff of mythic archetype.
Rating: 6 zits (injuries are no good)

Nothing But A Hound Dog
LA denizens might enjoy tonight’s 25th Annual Elvis Birthday Bash, a celebration-slash-concert that features up to three dozen performers covering Elvis’ finest in Echo Park.The patient fellow who’s been organizing it since 1987 refers to planning the event every year as “a pleasant headache.” The least you LA Elvis fans can do is go support his labor of love.
Rating: 3 zits

The Gphone?
Google knocked the wind out of mobile phone carrier’s sails by announcing that they would sell their new Google phone through their brand-new online phone store and that the phone would be unlocked to work with any American carrier. If this works, it could spell the end of AT&T and Apple’s chokehold on the mobile phone market. Of course, the phones could still be terrible–we’re reserving judgment.
Rating: 3 zits

Put A Hat On It
Lady Gaga, musician and public crazy person, attended the Consumer Electronics show in Las Vegas wearing a sunhat made entirely of her own hair. She did this because she’s now serving as Chief Creative Officer of Polaroid. This entire turn of events is approved.
Rating: 0 zits

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