Prep form from Beljanski Wellness Center:

colon hydrotherapy prep

As you know if you checked my Schedule Of Spa Week Appointments, I will be live-streaming my Colon Hydrotherapy, also known as a Colon Cleanse or a Colonic, at Beljanski Wellness Center this morning.

I am not too familiar with the procedure, and am the kind of person who likes learn by doing. I tried to avoid thinking about it… because if I actually thought about the fact that I’m cleansing my colon live on camera, I’d probably change my mind. Which is why, when Beljanski sent me an email last night with the above instructions attached, I started to panic.

Few notes:

1. Of the 14 foods I was supposed to avoid for the past 2 days, I have successfully eaten 13 of them, rice cakes being the lone outlier. When I asked if we should postpone, they told me I’d be fine and to just hydrate and follow the instructions from here on in.

2. I did not get to any of my readings. While my Wednesday nights usually do consist of trips to the NY Public Library engulfed in literature on the human digestion system, it didn’t happen last night.

3. I am entirely confused about the Goat Dairy section. Was this a mistake? Was I supposed to go to Redwood Hill Farms to fetch some goat yogurt? I didn’t ask. I am afraid to. (UPDATE: I asked… and it’s on there because if you’re going to do dairy, goat and sheep dairy is better before a colonic than cow. But, if you can avoid dairy altogether, even better. Alrighty then!)

So now, with about a half hour to go, I have consumed a pint of mango juice between last night and this morning, I’m feeling less than ready. But here we go! (Literally.)

11:15 UPDATE, LIVE FROM BELJANSKI:
We postponed. Not because I’m afraid. It’s because I feel unusually dehydrated and dizzy this morning. Which might be because I’m afraid, but I don’t think so. But the last thing I want to do is pass out with a tube up my butt, live on camera. The Beljanski team has decided it would be best to postpone until tomorrow, Friday, at 10:30 AM. Check back then… I’ll be TOTALLY prepared, and perhaps even make a trip to Red Hill Farms just for fun. Sorry for the delay!

NEXT DAY UPDATE: I did it, I did it!!! Watch the colonic here.

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