In a society based on instant gratification—5 minute teeth whiteners, news the second it breaks—nobody wants to wait until next week for anything anymore.

Naturally, one of the hottest growing spa treatment trends is instant inch loss. Last week I visited the Tribeca Spa of Tranquility in NYC for a treatment called Ionithermie, which vows to shed inches instantly, flush water weight, detox, smooth cellulite and tone your muscles all at once. When someone says you can lose up to 8 inches in one hour, you listen up.

First, a word on the spa: It’s a charming, welcoming, nicely equipped spa on a quiet street, staying true to its name. It’s one of those spas where you want hug the owner. Gary is his name, so you know.

Ionithermie is a complicated process as far as spa treatments go. First, my therapist Suzanne took measurements, marking me up with Sharpie dots, then laid me down, brushed my body with with a brush, and slathered me with Formula A+B as a base coat to improve circulation. She then applied Afina (for slimming) and Aferligine (for firming) to my body, and let it seep in while she whisked a bowl fresh clay made with algae and water. The clay was applied to a few layers of gauze that were soon wrapped around my tummy, back and thighs, but not before the electric currents were installed.

Then came the fun part: SHOCKWAVES. I was really not expecting this. After being been glossed with the Electrodes’ version of kerosene, Suzanne pinged my abdomen with the best ab workout I’d had in weeks. It tingled like pins and needles as Galvonic currents opened my cells to allow the products to enter and fluid to exit (the detox). There was no pain, but it did take a few minutes to get used to the bizarre sensation. Then, she switched to Fradic currents to stimulate muscles, which made me question whether or not I was actually doing sit-ups at the moment.

In fact, Suzanne said many of her clients are New Yorkers who are too busy to work out. Some may call it cheating. I say it’s genius.

The results: I lost 2.3 inches total, with measurements taken in 4 different spots around my midsection. I felt an instant firmness in the texture of my skin and the muscles beneath, and felt like an ever-so-slightly slimmer me.

The recommended treatment protocol is to go 3 times in the first week, and 10 within the month to sustain the results for up to a year. For $140-$200 a treatment (or $50 during Spa Week), this may be a worthwhile investment for the body you’ve never quite been able to attain.

Here’s an Ionithermie video at Tribeca Spa of Tranquility, done by Spa Week’s Social Media gal who came before me:

Tribeca Spa of Tranquility
462 Greenwich Street
New York, NY 10013

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