We’d normally encourage wearing SPF 30 and advise fervently against baking in the heat for hours on end… but you’re not a turkey. Add an extra dose of laughter to your festive meal of gratitude with these 5 simple steps, and have a sexy turkey time! 1. Size up your bird and become a swim wear designer. Using a scissor, cut aluminum foil in the shape of a bikini. Channel Rosa Cha for a couture-key. 2. “Dress” your turkey by smoothing the aluminum foil on flat. 3. Season with your favorite Thanksgiving herbs and spices and be heavy on this one ingredient: paprika. That’s the tanning oil. Pat on the “oil” and all the herbs, and make sure none gets under the bikini. 4. Bake in the oven as usual until half-done. Take her out, strip her down like a Greek in Saint Tropez, and shove her back in the oven nude for the rest of the cooking time. 5. Don’t tell your guests a thing! Watch their faces as you unveil your masterpiece, and ask the question every host and hostess across America will ask at that very same moment: “So… who wants a breast?” Happy Thanksgiving! Whether you’re spending it with a large family, a few friends, or you’re grabbing a turkey sandwich at the deli in between work shifts, always remember to appreciate what you’ve got, know that the best is yet to come… and laugh as much as possible. Start a Conversation Cancel a Conversation Connect with Enter your WordPress.com blog URL http://.wordpress.com Proceed Your email address will not be published. Name* Email* Website Comment Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.