Woman with beautiful legs

A few months ago we shared with you the wellness Teachings from the Spa-Obsessed Real Housewives. Yes, we admit, these often ridiculous, over-dramatized women aren’t always the epitome of health, but we concluded that they definitively know a thing or two about taking time out for themselves to relax and rejuvenate. One housewife in particular, Atanta’s Kim Zolciak, found time to pamper herself using, what she calls, the “Get Skinny Laser,” or “Pizza Laser,” aka Zerona. With the hectic holidays behind us, it’s likely that we’ve all packed on a few extra pounds during the festive season. So I decided to investigate Kim’s go-to laser to see if it stands up to the hype and should be considered as a viable option for all of us looking to “get skinny” and most importantly, healthy in the new year.
After some research, I discovered that Zerona uses five “cold lasers” to target voluminous adipose tissue or subcutaneous fat (fat that is close to the skin’s surface). The lasers create small pores, or holes, in your fat cells causing the fat cells to collapse, expelling the liquefied fat contents into interstitial space (the no-man’s land between your body’s cells). The smaller your fat cells, the more inches you lose. It is recommended that you get a minimum of six sessions, every 2-3 days for the best results.

With the basic knowledge of Zerona in my back pocket, I made an appointment at Spa Jolie in NYC’s West Village, where they are offering Zerona Laser Treatments for $99 per treatment in January as part of Spa Week’s Spa Deals. After being graciously greeted by Jodi, the spa director, and filling out a quick waiver form, I was lead upstairs by my technician, Morlie. Being around the same age, we instantly clicked and she told me about her own experiences using Zerona treatments to help support her weight-loss goals, “I’ve lost 2-3 inched in my waist and hips and am starting to see an hour-glass contour to my body I didn’t have before.” She reassured me saying that the best thing about Zerona is that it is painless, “You just lay there and take a 40 minute nap. It’s that easy.”

As we entered the treatment room, Morlie let me know what was going to happen, step by step. First, I disrobed down to my undies and bra and wrapped myself in a cozy fleece blanket. Then, Morlie asked me which areas I wanted to focus the laser on, “You can do up to four areas at a time, 20 minutes on the front and 20 minutes on the back. You’ll be out of here in less than an hour.” Obviously, I chose tummy and hips/inner thighs – because who doesn’t want Marissa Miller’s body, right? Next, Morlie took my measurements with a nifty measuring tape. It wasn’t as daunting or intimidating as I thought, as a I found out that Morlie was a pro at the slightly-awkward task of measuring strangers’ half-naked body parts. “I used to work at Victoria’s Secret,” she confessed, “I had to measure people all the time, so I’m used to it.”

The Zerona Laser up close and personal

After recording my base measurements on my chart, I laid down on my back on the treatment table and nestled my head into a cozy pillow. Morlie swiveled the Zerona machine over to me and maneuvered its centrally located laser to hover directly above my tummy. Then she bent each of  the four malleable arms with laser on the end about 2-3 inches above my inner thighs, hips and side-tummy. After a few minutes of tweaking each laser arm, I asked her if there’s a skill or science behind the positioning of the laser arms. “Knowing how to position the lasers is a big part of what we are taught during our mandatory Zerona certification courses. You want to make sure the lasers pass through each other or “feather,” sort of like Venn Diagram. The technician needs to know what they’re doing so the client gets the best results.” Once the lasers were positioned for optimal fat-busting, Morlie handed me this sweet pair of protective glasses:

Me in my protective eyewear – so chic!

The most unexpected part of the laser prep was when Morlie placed rolled-up towels under my thighs and on the slides of my tummy, to essentially “prop up the fat,” it was a little strange having someone finagle my problem areas, but any weirdness was overshadowed by the reasoning behind the towels: the more fat that is exposed to the laser, the better results you get. I couldn’t argue with that!

Zerona Laser being positioned by technician

Then she turned the laser on. The beams of red light started rotating in methodical circles over my lower-half. No noise, no pain, no sensation, no nothing. I just laid there. It was great. I checked my email, Twitpic’d, updated my Facebook status, checked out my favorite gossip site and took these pictures:

Side view of lasers

Ariel view of lasers


Laser treatment on hips/thighs

After 20 minutes, Morlie came back into the room and had me flip over onto my stomach; she re-positioned the towels and the Zerona machine and left me for another 20 minutes of unaccounted-for-bliss. I could have even called my mom and chit-chatted, it was that quiet, but, knowing my mom, calling her would take more than 20 minutes. So I texted her instead.

When the second 20 minutes was up, the machine turned off automatically with a beep, and Morlie came in and moved it into the corner and told me I could get dressed. She also gave me these great tips/info on aftercare:

  • Water: Drinking at least 60 oz of water (one of those large Poland Spring water bottles) a day will help your lymphatic system absorb and discrete the liquefied fat that is released from your fat cells
  • No caffeine, alcohol, soda or fast food: These foods negatively affect your body’s ability to flush out the fat that is released during the treatment
  • 72 hour rule: Don’t skip treatments or go more than 72 hours (three days) between sessions as this can affect the effectiveness of the treatment and some of the fat can be reabsorbed into your fat cells

And that’s it; I was done – granted I only had one session and will need more than six to see results, but the process was super quick and easy. However, the major health benefit Zerona can concretely and confidently boast is that it helps reduce belly fat/belly circumference which in turn reduces your risk of heart attack, cardiovascular disease, type two diabetes, hypertension (high blood pressure), stroke and some types of cancer. Whether it’s through diet, exercise and/or spa treatments – no matter what way you do it – reducing body fat can save and enhance the quality of your life. In conclusion, Kim Zolciak may be a little wacko, but she’s on the right track. Bravo, Kim! For Zerona deals in your area, visit www.spaweek.com/deals

Spa Jolie (Previously Randee Elaine Salon)
180 7th Avenue South
New York, NY 10014