Hello from Miami! I escaped. Yes, I’ve escaped the bitter New York winter for a healthy dose of sunshine… with an even healthier dose of spa.

Let the bliss begin! I’ve come here to stay with Dashama, the very beautiful yoga guru and healer who has been part of the Spa Week Expert family since last December when she challenged you to hug more. We’ve got a vibrant week ahead, chock full of wellness adventures, and I hope you follow us here and on social media along the way.

red pedicure

Now, a spa girl like myself makes certain beauty preparations before traveling into the sandal-wearing, bikini-body-baring weather of South Florida. Firstly, a mani/pedi is a must. Aside from being clean and polished, it makes you feel clean and polished to have your extremities taken care of. I choose bright colors for mid-winter vacations; it makes it feel even more like summertime.

What’s a spa trip without preparing for it… with three hours proper at a spa?

“Hey,” I called up Luminesa Cellulite and Slimming Medi-Spa, “can you make me hot and skinny by Sunday?”

The team of estheticians at Luminesa was up for this challenge.

spa bed

We started with the popular body contouring treatment, Endermologie. For Endermologie, you slip into a whole-body stocking that I happen to love a lot. It’s like a giant shapewear.

endermologie outfit

michelle jon spa tutuRemember when I wore it to New York Fashion Week with a tutu and interviewed Gwen Stefani? (I’m sure she does.) —>

To my delight, Endermologie feels a lot like a massage. It works by means of an esthetician rolling a magic wand over your body. The suction and rolling action is an extremely effective method of increasing circulation, which helps prevent and reduce the appearance of cellulite. It firms and contours your body wherever it goes—hellz to the yes. It’s most effective when multiple treatments are done in succession, but even one time does help a little.


endermologie wand

Unfortunately, my tummy is so ticklish that we were not able to Endermologize it. Endermologize is not a word. Neither is “mwabdijsalaifodwfguifbcaahhhhh!!!,” the unfortunate sound I make when someone is trying to do Endermologie on my tummy.

Next came a Sudatonic Wrap. If you are a wrestler and you need to lose four pounds of water weight in the next hour without sitting in a garbage bag at your gym sauna, call Luminesa for a Sudatonic Wrap. I’ve had a number of wraps in my day, but never one quite this sweaty. I felt like a piping hot grilled chicken Panini wrapped in saran wrap and aluminum foil, sitting in the sun under a wool blanket with a cup of hot tomato soup.

sudatonic wrap

sudatonic wrap

It’s not simply the sweat though that’s helping you shed pounds – there’s also a combination of oil and lotion that is first massaged onto you. (Yay! Massages are hidden everywhere at the spa, I love it.)

Once the formulas mingle on your body and get heated to a sizzle, they aide in firming and smoothing your body.  I would recommend keeping one arm free (your skinnier one, of course) so you don’t feel like a completely cocooned caterpillar. Also, in case you need video tape it.

While my body was shrinking beneath the layers, my face was free to make proper pre-sun arrangements. I got a Vitamin C facial, which included a great round of extractions (Ahhh, yes this meant steaming! Why not just boil me whole?) as well as a pumpkin face mask…

relaxing facialfacial mask

…and a green neck mask which I happen to think looked rather chic. Perhaps something to consider for next fashion week to go with my Endermologie chastity suit.

neck mask

At long last, the Panini was ripped open. AIR! Sweet, cool air! Victorious!

Ranking similarly in victory level was the result. Prior to the treatment we had taken stock of my vital fat signs: body fat percentage, BMI and a few circumference measurements. Directly after the treatment I had gone down .3 percent in body fat, and a total of two inches in circumference. My BMI did not go down.

But it wasn’t the numbers so much that impressed me; I’m not someone who weighs herself nor feels a sense of confidence over a drop in waist size. What matters is how I feel. And as I left, I felt noticeably lighter—and tighter too.

The spa is not the answer to your weight problems. The spa is part of a solution. Just like anything in health and wellness, too-dramatic results often come with dangerous side effects. Just like a massage: You don’t go expecting them to completely fix your lower back pain, but you feel the amazing instant difference regardless. You can expect to see subtle shifts in your body and wellbeing after one treatment, but it’s your job to say persistent, to allow your body learn how to respond to a treatment over time, and also do your part in eating well, stretching and staying active.

As a strong Vitamin C serum settled into my face over the next fourteen hours, (I was instructed not to shower or wash my face for a few hours, so I waited till the next day), I felt like a burst of sunshine myself. My skin felt more taut and far more hydrated. I noticed a distinct golden glow get brighter and brighter—perhaps a direct reaction to the Vitamin C, perhaps a subliminal anticipation for the Oscars Red Carpet, or maybe an inner radiance… joyful and grateful that I have a week ahead of me to bliss out in Miami with Dashama.

dashama yoga

As Dashama explained over wine and goat cheese brie (yes, that exists!!!) upon my arrival:

“Yoga is a peace sign we do with our bodies.”

Let the Miami peace and love begin.

xo Michelle Joni